Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
