then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
