Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
