We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
i've created a new STD.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
