shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
