Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Randomize