She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
