just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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