There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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