two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize