i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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