just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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