O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
