john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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