p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
