i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
