So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
where does the pee come out of this thing
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
