Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
