I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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