I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize