Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
