you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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