Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
