Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
