She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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