Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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