i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
