I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
