So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
