sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
