Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
