Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Randomize
