I love black thongs
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
