That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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