I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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