it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jger and an empty bed here Friday.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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