I'm pants shitting drunk right now
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
