I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Panties = found
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
