I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
