I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
