When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
