What did we do last night that was yellow?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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