my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
