Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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