she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
