Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize