dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
