We're facebook friends in real life
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
