He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize