also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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