their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
