youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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