It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
