Ambien. No doubt about it.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
