so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you will always have a special place in my vag
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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