She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize