love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
