Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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