Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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