Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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