can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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