Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
