don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
