it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize