I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
